Gone

If you wont hear my thoughts than you can read my soul...

With every inch you push me away my heart grows cold...

If ever I needed someone it was you...

Now that your gone I dont know what to do...

Its like the Loudest Silence on the hottest Winter night Scene...

Its like the Quietest Scream on the coldest Mid Summers night Dream...

But when shall I awake from this tragedy called life

and find myself in your arms once more as your spiritual wife...

The Love I felt was beyond this Plain...

Now the memories just brings a stringent pain..

Never agian will I be susceptable to loves will...

This effervesscent emotion Is now a tormenting drill...

Its Poisins seep inside you untill..

You become Half the person that was once fufilled...

Take it away I dont want it... Lifes greatest gift has a curse upon it...

I try to make it stop but my thoughts still haunt it... Its hard to avoid when all others do is Flaunt it...

Nat

The Lonely Road..

Im on my nostalgic flow.. Thinking about why we end up where we are and asking all those "What If?" Questions. I know I shouldnt but my curiousity is compelling my mind to wander.. So as I sit here still picking up the shards I look deep into each memory and cherish the love and warmth the each bring and remember each hug.. each kiss.. each laugh.. each blush.. INHALE.. And Release. Now i walk this path alone..

Alone isnt always bad.. But to being without him has me feeling like im on a slippery path to no where. Finding solace isnt as easy this time around.. I always bouced back but this time I fell hard.. It feels like the gravity done changed.. As I push up to stand my heart weighs me down and the air escapes my lungs.. Anger settles in.. I cant hate him so I hate myself for the way I feel about him.. But can I hate the feeling most people chase??

That Happy Exciting Breathless Mind Boggling sensation..

That keeps you either on your toes.. Or in the clouds..

I guess I dont hate the feeling its self but rather the loss of that feeling.

I hate that my mind tells me to be rational when my heart knows this is clearly not a white and black situation.. There are way to many undefined hues and tones to walk away with a sense of closure..

When He walked away I only pushed the door but its far from closed..

But thats not the position I want to be put in.. My heart does not have a revolving door on it.. So should I close it or should I make the exception for this man that has me all in a whirl..?

I feel so broken.. Although I am not define by a man.. I finnaly found a man that can define my wants and needs with just a smile and a laugh.. For once I looked in someones eyes and saw the future..

What a feeling.. For a moment the sorrows of the world evaporated and the mist lifted me to a dream land where happiness was eminent..

LOL I know what your thinking.. Im such a cornball.. but thats what happens when your actually happy. Im glad I felt what I felt.. Not to hot about losing that feeling.. But I will never lose the memories..

And so as I journey down this lonley road I can only hope the next road leads back to companionship..