The Many Faces Of Nathalie...

What All these pictures Have in common is that alot of them were taken threw some very trying times... But in every Dark Cloud there's a silver lining... Smile... Life is Short...

The Sensation

What is it about that sensation that keep me submitted and yeilded to temptation?? I cant stand it..

The need to be sinfully screwing others in fornication while continually Screwing my self over in anticipation..

Always placing myself in these Soul-Shattering situations

Stuck in the cycle of frustration, When turn on watching pornographic movie stations

Then left searching for that next intimate relation, like the Lust Doctor seeking out that patient

Excited in anticpation waiting for that next moment of elation...

As my adrenaline runs high right before the tears begin to fall from my eyes

and a piece of my spirit dies. Again!!

Here I go into sin...

Down on my knees full of shame.. Calling on Jesus name

Confessing the played games apologizing for wanting sex while calling your name. (GOD!!)

Tryna Maintain as forgivness is obtained

Lord Please come and Reign

In... My... Life...

I can't overcome what you dont condone alone and on my own

So I write this poem..

Asking you to show me Why I continue to do wrong. I know in the bible you say flee from sexual immorality... But to me the reason why is somewhat of a mystery..

Especially considering that in this society when one strives for sexual purity

They're looked at as corny or crazy

But I know that's far from YOUR truth which is Reality

I just gotta learn to accept it... To correct and perfect my infected mentality.

So Father Please!!!

Teach me.. Reach me.. Beseech me..

And Allow me to see myself clearly

So that i may emerge victoriously from this shameful secrecy that keeps me from fully embracing my christianity and following you faithfully...

In this land of hook-ups and headgames

And appealing feelings of sexual healings

That run rampant in this miseducated world world which tells young boys and girls that Happines is found in someone who can make your toes curl..

No wonder we're in Peril

Equating Orgasms with love and keeping scorecards of beautiful

Altos && Sopranos...To inflate EGOs

And false images of Adulthood... That are many times thought of as all good

Instead of deep-seated issues which could stem from absentee Fathers...

And Bitter Mothers who leave us un-guided and unprepared for lief's surprises..

SO here were are hanging with our crew

Acting a fool

Thinking wisdom is to be found in a condom

Still blind and deaf to common sence

Unknowingly Following in Mom && Dad's footsteps

Lacking that spiritual depth to avoid the behavior that lead to

the broken heart's defect...Endless child-support debt

AND the HIV/AIDS Death... riddled with regret..

That leaves us paying our respects and speculating whether the orgasm's Sensation is really worth the Risk of bringing our spiritual, emotion, and physical entities near Death's Kiss

Gone

If you wont hear my thoughts than you can read my soul...

With every inch you push me away my heart grows cold...

If ever I needed someone it was you...

Now that your gone I dont know what to do...

Its like the Loudest Silence on the hottest Winter night Scene...

Its like the Quietest Scream on the coldest Mid Summers night Dream...

But when shall I awake from this tragedy called life

and find myself in your arms once more as your spiritual wife...

The Love I felt was beyond this Plain...

Now the memories just brings a stringent pain..

Never agian will I be susceptable to loves will...

This effervesscent emotion Is now a tormenting drill...

Its Poisins seep inside you untill..

You become Half the person that was once fufilled...

Take it away I dont want it... Lifes greatest gift has a curse upon it...

I try to make it stop but my thoughts still haunt it... Its hard to avoid when all others do is Flaunt it...

Nat